Richard the Third did swap his Kingdom for a horse. Unfortunately, the horse was the record-breaking Quixall Crossett (103 winless races) and they galloped towards ignominious defeat. Somewhere, in a murky betting shop, resides the punter who backed the Crossett on each of his fruitless journeys around a racetrack. His wallet as empty as the dance floor at a ‘Michael Chapman Appreciation Disco’ at the Cavern. Most sane people would have given up by the thirtieth defeat, but “next bet wins” is the mantra for all weary punters. I, for one, would back Quito if it entered the International Moon Walking Championships. This brings me, in a roundabout way, to Neil Armstrong. Few people realise the first man to walk on the moon is now scattered across betting shops the length and breadth of the country. One small step for a man with a fiver, one giant leap for Portman Park. Neil rmstrong is a regular around the cartoon circuit and he always carries my £5 on his celluloid voyage. Virtual Racing is perceived as betting purgatory and I’m shamed into wearing disguise on punting trips to Portman Park, steepledowns, and the dust bowl of virtual speed, Sprint Valley. It may be SCOOBY DOO RACING
(that oft-quoted derisory term), but watching the dogs parade before Walthamstow 12.27, I clearly saw Trap 2 creep up behind Trap 5 and try to lick gratuitously between his legs. Only the muzzle prevented a serious incident. Now, you would never see Neil Armstrong do that before the cartoon stalls opened!
